In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
