then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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