you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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