what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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