How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
