ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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