yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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