Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
