I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
