On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
