I feel great
I just peed on a car
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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