Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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