I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
