Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
