I think I am morally bankrupt
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
