take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You are a genius and a whore.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
