He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
