i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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