Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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