He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
