I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
