I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
