Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
