Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
