I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
