he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
