respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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