I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
