You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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