I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
