I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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