So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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