Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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