if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How's work?
Spinning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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