I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
