He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
