Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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