fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dick very happy bro
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
