I got chris browned last night
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
