idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
