It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
