I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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