smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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