I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
