This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She bit a glass in half.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
