Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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