Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
