Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
