Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
