I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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